Sunday, February 19, 2006

Single Momitude

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"I burped out my butt."

This is said in a matter of fact manner. A declaration to the world. I think it's clever, but I suppose I shouldn't encourage such statements by laughing. I laugh anyway. We stroll giggling with her clammy, sticky little hand in mine. It's unusual to hold her hand, she typically wants to walk by herself.

"What do you say?" I have an instruction lexicon now, mostly expressed with "what do you say," "please?" "say thank you!” No wonder children rebel.

"Kuise me." I laugh again. She lets go of my hand. I'm glad because my son claims my other hand and is less likely to let go. Content and silent and using my hand as an anchor in the non-playroom world. They are so different, these twins. Each of them takes up their own every bit of me with little overlap. Whatever she does, he does a few months later. Whatever he does, she aids and abets. I'm just the appreciative audience, the source of all food and stickers.

He finally does let go of my hand and they run ahead of me. He has an odd, endearing gait, one that makes me think of his vulnerability rather than strength or speed. He is not yet three, so I don't expect agility yet. She tries to run holding hands. It works only for a few steps until they fall down laughing. Up again and off.

I watch them run and find my anxiety level raising a little as neither of them listen to me with any regularity. I don't know if all mothers are like this, but I live with the worse case scenario playing a constant loop in my brain. But so far, we've only had one horrible accident, pretty good for a family in our situation. Still, I can’t wait for two things: toilet training (the result, not the process) and that magic time when I say something and they stop doing the thing to which I object (dream on!).

Two kids versus one adult. I'm a single mother, overwhelmed by definition and constantly aware that one of them will do something I can't stop. We live in chaos comprised of playing, cleaning, cars, trains, stuffed toys, and ballerina dresses. I thought I'd write this blog to record our experience. We'll see how it goes. I’ve included progressive politics because, as anyone who knows me can tell you, I can’t help myself.

4 Comments:

At 12:15 AM, Blogger Maya Conchita said...

I have a daughter. My husband and I have decided to have one more child, for a total of two, because the thought of being "outnumbered" by the children scares us.

So what I'm saying is, my hat's off to you! You're doing great!

 
At 1:01 AM, Blogger Blogatha said...

I think sometimes that child/parent ratio will be the emerging theme of their childhood. I'm not sure if it's something they'll regard as unfair or with warmth. They play it well, I have to say!

 
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